Husbands And Wives Becoming One Flesh

The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Matthew 19:3-6 (NKJV)

Contrary to what some people feel, the act of marriage is far more than exchanging vows and collecting a piece of paper.  Marriage is not something man came up with or conceived, it was instituted and ordained by God.  God made man, and said, it is not good that man should be alone (Gen. 2:18).  He then made the woman to be a companion of man, and to be a helper.  Woman was to complete man.  In essence, marriage was brought about to alleviate man from being alone, and to provide him with a companion. We see this concept being spoken of in Malachi. 

Yet you say, "For what reason?"  Because the LORD has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. Malachi 2:14 (NKJV)

It is devastating for a husband and wife to separate (divorce), and it was never meant to be this way.  Unfortunately, marriage has become a covenant of convenience and is seldom viewed as a covenant before God.  To some, divorce is merely looked at in the same way a mulligan is looked upon by a golfer - bad shot, so I get to try again.  But it really isn't this way.

God said, "A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."  This cleaving process is much like adhering or gluing.  Think about a piece of plywood being glued together.  When a man and woman become one flesh, they are literally becoming one person.  There can be no closer relationship than the bond of marriage between a man and woman.  They will begin to think, and act as one rather than two individuals. 

As a result of such unity, there should never be anything coming between this relationship of husband and wife.  No other person (including children, and parents), activity or any object should come before each other.  God was very clear on this when He instructed man to leave his father and mother and become one flesh.  

Companionship should never be substituted by allowing other people, jobs, and activities to take its place. When this happens, the relationship will suffer and the enemy will tempt the husband and wife to fulfill this legitimate need in an illegitimate way.  All too often, we see husbands and wives separating through the decree of divorce and the tearing process of what God had put together - the "One flesh," begins.  It is very much like attempting to separate the bond between the sheets of plywood, and the process usually ends up destroying both sides with broken pieces strewn about. 

Our priority sequence as Christians should always be God first, our spouse second, our children third, and then everything else.  Our jobs, activities, friends, come after our spouse and children.  Our personal wants and desires are laid down as we become selfless in love. 

The Husband has been made the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the Church.  He has been called to love his wife just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her (Eph. 5:23, 25).  This means he is willing to lay his life down for her, and to lead her, cherish her, and to wash her with the water of God's Word.  God has instructed husbands to love their wives as they love themselves (Eph 5:33). 

The Wife is to submit herself to her husband as to the Lord. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything (Eph. 5:22, 24).  God has instructed wives to respect their husbands (Eph 5:33).

Here me in this husbands; if you love your wife as Christ loved the church - if you love her as much as you love yourself - she will begin to respect you for being a God fearing man, and she will love you in an amazing way.

Here me in this wives; if you respect your husband and his role as the leader of the family (even when he makes a poor decision), he will see your respect, and we will want to love you all the more.  God will do the convicting on poor choices - leave this up to Him.  You just do you part. 

Here me in this Christian; God can make any marriage an amazing experience - but it starts with you.  Don't stop if your partner stumbles - be there for them and be faithful unto God.

STUDY QUESTION: According to Matthew 19:3-6, what is God's view on a man and women coming together or separating?

PERSONAL INVENTORY: Are you willing to be what God has called you to be within your relationship regardless of what your spouse does?

APPLICATION: Focus on your walk with God and continue to seek Him for the power, wisdom, and love needed to be selfless in your marriage.  Do everything as if you are doing it for the Lord (Col. 3:17, 23).  You will be blessed.