But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him, Colossians 3:8-10 (NKJV)
As a counselor, Ive spent many an hour with couples in an attempt to reconcile them in their relationship with each other. In each instance, there are always a couple of common denominators. One is their relationship with the Lord. It is impossible to have a bad marriage if both people have a healthy relationship with God. Lets face it; if youre both willing to listen to the Lord, and apply what He has given to us in His Word, then there usually isnt a problem.
When our relationship with the Lord and/or our abiding in His Word isnt being done, then there will be a multitude of breakdowns with respect to our relationships with others. This doesnt just apply to marriages; it applies to every type of relationship. And one of those main areas of breakdown is communication.
In Part I of this series on communication, we looked at the importance of listening. In communicating whether it is in a relationship with another person, or with the Lord, it is important to be a good listener. Being able to speak and voice our opinions is absolutely essential in good communication, but we must be willing to listen to others if we are going to understand them, and be able to have a healthy relationship.
One area that hinders our communication with others is our attitude. Or, shall I say, our Bad Attitude.
You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Philippians 2:2-5 (NLT)
When we gave our lives to Christ, we were to put off the old man, which in this case is our ugly fleshly habits that we accumulated before we accepted the Lord. When we attempt to continue to live in the flesh, we will stumble in our Christian walk.
Jesus told us that we cannot serve two masters; for either we will hate the one and love the other, or else we will be loyal to the one and despise the other (Mt 6:24). So if we are doing the things that we use to do, then we will undoubtedly have a bad attitude.
I like what Pastor Chuck Swindoll says about attitude:
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.
Here is a simple checklist of questions we can ask ourselves to find out just what kind of communicator we are.
"What kind of words do we use when we talk to each other?
"Are we cynical or critical?
"Are we condemning?
"Do we use inconsiderate or sharp tones?
"Do we attempt to justify our actions, or give a good reason for our sin?
"De we make a mountain out of a molehill of lie?
"Do we use inappropriate vulgar language?
"Do we have a tendency to teardown, badger, or point fingers?
I want to encourage you today to take a look at the things that we are told to put off in Colossians 3:8-10. Those are the things of the past, the Old Man, and they should be gone. Lets put on the new man, and be renewed with Gods knowledge (See Rom 12:2). We will be better communicators when we do this, and our relationship with God, and as a result with others will flourish.
STUDY QUESTION: What are we told to put off in Colossians 3:8-10?
PERSONAL INVENTORY: Is there anything you have not put off completely? Can you see where these things are hindering your walk with God, and your communication, and your relationships with others?
APPLICATION: Put off the old man now! That was the old you. Why would you put back on a dirty diaper? Its the same way with our old filthy habits. Lay them at the Lords feet today and ask Him to deliver you from them.
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